


Game of Toddlers

by Katsuharu



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Characters as toddlers, Crack, No Plot/Plotless, Noone dies, Other minor characters - Freeform, Westeros is a child care centre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 03:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10822467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsuharu/pseuds/Katsuharu
Summary: Game of Thrones except that they're all toddlers in Westeros Day care Centre. Basically a directionless short story about a bunch of toddlers who speak like old British men.





	Game of Toddlers

Westeros was a typical day care centre, filled with screaming children and the scent of baby shampoo that mingles with the scent of soiled nappies rather than covering it up. It was around midday that Tyrion walked into Westeros, clutching his mother’s hand as he was lead to a colourful play area. His eyes scanned the room and, after spotting a group of others he knew, made his way over to the table they were surrounding. Silence fell as he sat on one of the remaining plastic seats.

“Tyrion,” a bald, pudgy boy spoke, “you’re late.”

“Apologies, Varys. Please, continue the discussion.” Tyrion waved his little arm before grabbing a bottle from off the table and taking a swig of the lukewarm formula. It took a moment before a taller blond boy, Jamie, pulled the dummy from his mouth to speak.

“Right, as I was saying, Westeros is out of control.” Jamie babbled then pointed to the outside playground, “Especially since Daenerys has started having hourly temper tantrums.” The rest at the table turned to view the scene unfolding outside.

Daenerys was seething. Earlier she had been trying to play in the sandbox with a bunch of new toddlers but was pushed aside by a few boys claiming that they couldn’t play with her and that they had to play with them instead. Which of course had led to her screaming till she was red in the face.

“YOU CAN’T TELL US WHAT TO DO! OPRESSION AND SLAVORY IS WRONG!” Daenerys pulled three hard plastic toy dragons out of her pocket and hurled them at the closest boy, effectively smacking him right in the face. “Jorah, get the other ones.” She demanded the poor boy who literally followed her everywhere like some sort of lost puppy.

“Right away.” Jorah obeyed, holding out a floppy foam sword toward those who hadn’t yet burst into tears and stumbled away like the one who got bitch-slapped by a toy dragon.  
“This all started because she started playing with that Drogo boy.” Jamie grumbled, crossing his teeny tiny arms.

“Actually, I believe this behaviour begun when Drogo stopped being brought to Westeros all together.” A distant voice remarked. the table turned once more to see Baelish waddling sluggishly towards them, dragging a baby blue blanket on the floor behind him.

“Hope your nap was satisfactory.” Varys said to the newcomer as he sat at the table.

“Yes,” Baelish replied, “a much better nap than you could ever take I’d expect.”

“Alright, enough of that you two. Save your shade throwing for when the rest of us don’t have to listen to it.” Cersei, Jamie’s twin sister interjected, startling the others as they didn’t even notice that she had returned in the first place.

“Sis, weren’t you playing hide and seek with Sansa?” Jamie asked after dragging his seat next to hers.

“Yes, but I got bored, so I asked that really tall girl, Brienne to go and find her for me.”

With the two saltiest toddlers in Westeros throwing shade at each other and brother and sister reunited once more, Tyrion was left alone and bored beyond belief.

“I’m going to go play with Daenerys. At least what she’s doing looks like fun, unlike this.” And with that Tyrion left for the outside world in search of a better time, completely ignoring the complaints of his now former companions.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the purpose of a University remediation project.


End file.
